Talking loudly is not something to dislike in yourself.
It is merely a part of your natural expression. You are allowed to be you according to the nature of you. It is what it is. When you raise your voice and start talking loudly during conversation it is likely because you are expressing enthusiasm and energy for the exchange. You are being passionate with communication and enjoying the process of conversation to the fullest! That’s all good! It does have its place! It can be fun! The only time it might not be good is if being loud is imposing on the mental well being of others. Then talking loudly can be deemed inconsiderate.
Examples of talking loudly inconsiderately:
- You are in a library filled with quiet types all studying the subject of quietness! You walk in and shout out “WOW! LOOK AT THIS COOL LIBRARY!IV NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE, LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN HERE, I NEVER KNEW IT WAS SO POPULAR, DO THEY HAVE ANY PLAYBOY MAGAZINES?”
- You arrive to somebodies house and they inform you that you are welcome but to please bear in mind that they only just got the baby to sleep after three days straight of none stop screaming! You walk in and shout WOW! LOOK AT THAT COOL TV! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT? MY DAD GOT A NEW TV TOO, HERE LET ME SHOW YOU A PIC, ARE WE HAVING A CUP OF TEA? GET THE KETTLE ON!”
- You are in the audiology department waiting room filled with people experiencing nervous breakdowns due to over sensitive ears and start shouting at them all! “OY YOU LOT, AM I IN THE EARS PLACE? IV HAD WAX IN MY RIGHT EAR FOR THREE MONTHS, ITS A RIGHT PAIN, HAVE YOU BEEN SAT HERE LONG? CAN I GET A CUP OF COFFEE IN THIS PLACE? OH GREAT THEY HAVE A TV, EXCUSE ME BABE, WHERES THE REMOTE FOR THAT?
- You are sat in the middle row of the cinema celebrating your teams win with a jubilant friend on your phone during the scene where the lead character stares into the dark night and quietly asks “Can you hear that noise?” “YESSSSSSSSS…. THATS FARGIN FANTASTICCCCCC!!! WHO SCORED?”
When we fail to observe our environment and understand the bigger picture of how we can impact our surroundings with loud vocal projection we can become viewed as being ‘unmindful’ when we do. People do not like inconsiderate people.
In order to be mindful we have to actually care about the way we effect others. We have to have a basic state of mind that naturally prioritises the wellbeing of everyone and not just our selves. The young are usually less developed and more prone to acting out on defects so they are usually the least developed people when it comes to mindfulness. As we get older and more experienced in life we tend to calm down as we gain greater balance in the way we behave. Older people tend to be more considerate and perceptive of the world around them. They also have more of an idea of social norms and so are better trained at conforming to accepted modes of behaviour.
How to become more mindful.
It would be fantastic if everyone could just simply ‘care’. But it is not that simple. Caring takes motivation. Everything we choose to do takes some type of motivation, and so when we care, we do it because we are motivated to do it. Our motivation could be as simple as adhering to principles. We may be strongly principled in the areas of right v wrong. It might be easy for some to just “know” talking loudly in certain situations is wrong. I fall into this category. This is why I would just naturally become mindful and keep the noise down. I have a reason for wanting to not be talking loudly. However, many humans are not that principled and so do have defects in play and do become forgetful of where they are and what is going on.
So how can we train ourselves how to be mindful of our vocal volume when talking loudly?
One way could be to use our own selfish desires against ourselves! If we cant do it for others then maybe we could do it for ourselves?
- A person who is currently prioritising finding a mate in life could decide to be aware that being loud inappropriately could put a member of the opposite sex off them. Worse….. it could result in members of the opposite sex confirming to each other that you are a dick!
- A person intent generally on attracting new business could decide to agree with themselves that being too loud could be making them seem undisciplined, which isn’t a good sign to people seeking help from a real professional. Worse…. other people may privately confirm this between themselves and decide you are a risk.
- A person who fears conflict in life could make the decision that being loud might make them a target for violent types. Worse…. all the psychos could privately agree that you are someone who needs to be taught a lesson!
- A person who wishes to be admired and accepted by others could make the decision that others might secretly dislike a loud person? Worse… they could all tell each other that you are a pain in the butt and are to be avoided!
We could choose to realise the absolute truth
Talking loudly too often can damage our reputation in life.
Our reputation is the things people say about us in our absence. So maybe you should ask yourself how good a reputation do you honestly wish to have? Is talking loudly inappropriately effecting that? Are you happy about that? Could being quieter at the right moments improve your situation in any way?
By using our basic personal fears, insecurities, desires and ambitions we can potentially train ourselves to modify aspects of ourselves in order to serve ourselves better.
We just have to find a reason to care.
Life is a head game! We must learn to master our own head! I wrote and produced a track about that! It is called ‘Life Is A Head Game’ and is available on my last album ‘Dancing For The Money Man’
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